The Sandspur    

ABOUT US

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS  

PENSACOLA BEACH FAQs
********************

Q. Does it cost money to get on Pensacola Beach?
A. Just as in Greek mythology when the dead journeyed across the
River Styx to the underworld they had to pay the boatman a copper
coin: It will cost you a buck (US$1.00) each time you come on the
Island.

*****

Q. Are shark attacks a real problem?
A. There has never been a REPORTED shark attack on Pensacola
Beach. Some swimmers have just disappeared, however.

*****

Q. Does Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager really live on
Pensacola Beach?

A. Yes. When she is not off exploring the Universe. You ought to
see her in her thong Bikini!

****

Q. What does Seven of Nine think of tourists?

A. In her own words, "Tourists should not be assimilated. They
should be exterminated."

*****

Q. What is the quickest way to get to Pensacola Beach from
Chicago?

A. You can't get to Pensacola Beach from Chicago.

*****

Q. Have you ever heard of the SANDSPUR computer virus?

A. Yes. It is now on your hard drive.

*****
sandspur@seii.net

(BACK TO MAIN)